As he sleeps
by TheLadyTsubasax
Summary: As Yuuki gives birth to her daughter she recollects memories of her sleeping lover, Kaname.


I know some people like to listen to music when reading a fanfiction. If you want to know the exact music I used when writing this project it was this: **Pocahantas soundtrack- Farewell (Instrumental) **and **The Beast Dies / Transformation / Finale - Beauty and the Beast OST** on Youtube.

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Her Sleeping Lover

_Pure, white snow..._

Outside, Snow cascaded from the grey heavens, twisting, twirling and dancing till it settled upon the frozen ground, painting the Kuran grounds and home in a soft, white coat.

_Why is it so white?_

_What is this snow?_

The little pureblood clenched her teeth as she gave her final push. Clutching the bed sheets beneath her body, her knuckles turning white. She hissed and screamed, her face furrowed with the overwhelming pain that rocked her frail body.

A wail filled the room.

_**'I did it**_**.'**

At the sound of the small child's cry her body slumped against the bed. Strands of her brunette hair damp with perspiration clung to her forehead, a result from the agonising hours of labour she had endured the past few hours.

Yuuki's chest sank and rose heavily as she gasped for air, longing for oxygen to enrich her tired lungs to steady her breathing. A choked whimper escaped her parted lips.

"It's a girl Yuuki sama! Congratulations!" One of the midwives congratulated as they scooped the small, fragile being into a midwives' arms and carefully washed the afterbirth from the child's cherry red body.

_'You've done so well, Yuuki...'_

Yuuki's vision quickly became blurred with tears that threatened to spill. Lifting an arm weakly, she laid it over her eyes releasing the hot tears to cascade down her face. It was a rare sight to see a pureblood cry indeed.

_'I saw a rose that blooms only once every ten years, Yuuki'_

Her lip trembled.

_'But I couldn't bring it back with me'_

A lump grew in her throat.

_'When you pick it, it withers away'_

_**Kaname...Kaname!**_

_'...Next time it blooms, I'll have it encased in resin'_

Here the pureblood princess had just delivered her first child yet ─part of her was dreading to see her own daughter's face knowing well that she would be remembered of her sleeping lover. After building the walls around her since his heart had been thrown into the furnace she just realised how fragile those walls she had built over that time were...

_'Yuuki...'_

Her heart ached.

It felt so heavy.

_'I don't want this!'_

"I don't want _**this**__" _Yuuki whimpered shaking her head meekly.

_**So **_heavy.

_'I can't imagine a world where I can no longer hear your voice...'_

Her emotions revolted within her. Love, gratefulness, anticipation, confusion, disbelief─but most of all, loss and grief.

She yearned to hear his voice.

The soft voice that belonged to _him_.

To Kaname.

Yuuki's senses of her surrounding began to emulsify with nothing no longer being individually distinctive to her. It was all but a mere blur of colours to her. The wail of her daughter became but a mere muffled sound in the background. Blurred colours of grey and navy flashed in the corner of Yuuki's glazed eyes as the midwives bustled and rushed around her with a bowl of warm water and towels.

She felt alone.

It was not as if Yuuki had no one she could talk to, there was Zero, her adoptive father, Sayori chan and many others.

But still she─

_Kaname...!_

Those crimson eyes that continued to haunt her every waking hour of the day...

_Kaname...!_

A part of Yuuki was still unable to understand why _he_ was not in the room. Why she could not hear his voice. Why she had not felt the warm embrace of his arms encircling her small frame.

_Kaname onii sama...! _

No one could understand the grief she felt right now. No one. The guilt she carried upon her shoulders every day. The guilt that swarmed her the day she told Zero that she carried Kaname's child. The emotion that flickered in his lilac eyes was distinguishable, an emotion that couldn't easily be mistaken.

"Ngh..!" more tears streamed.

"Yuuki sama is crying!"

"Yuuki sama are you hurt? Is there something wrong?"

"Do not cry Yuuki sama, the child is well! You have a healthy daughter!"

A warm breeze brushed against her damp skin and settled there. She felt a ghostly warmth suddenly grow by her bedside.

_'Are you there...Kaname?'_ she called out in the dark depths of her consciousness.

She absently reached out her hand to the side of her...but nothing.

A warm hand took her small one.

Her body flinched tensing. A small flutter of hope blossomed.

She knew it was not realistic but still...just this once...couldn't she revive that hope of seeing him one more time?

_'Kaname?'_

Yuuki blinked back her tears and pulled her arm away from her eyes to see.

It was one of the midwives holding Yuuki's hand. The sympathetic midwife gave her mistress a soft smile.

Yuuki felt a cool cloth being placed upon her forehead. Her doe eyes shot up to see another midwife placing a cool, damp compressor to her forehead.

"It'll be alright, Yuuki sama" she cooed as if talking to a child, stroking back Yuuki's clammy hair.

Yuuki gave a frail nod.

"Yuuki sama, your daughter has been washed and cleaned, would you like to hold the child?" one asked. The room quietened, all eyes on her to see what her reaction would be. The soft gurgling of the baby could be heard, the baby that she and Kaname had created.

Not trusting her voice not knowing whether it would be break she nodded and slowly sat up with the help of the other midwives. With curious eyes she watched the midwife fold a soft white blanket around the small baby and bring it towards her. Instinctively, Yuuki opened her arms and stretched to take the baby. Taking great care as the baby was laid into the arms, reality came crashing down around her.

The warmth.

The warmth of the small creature's body.

Pulling the baby to her breast, she cradled it in her arms.

So fragile.

So innocent.

Pressing a kiss to the baby's brow her lips lingered there breathing in the scent of the newborn, her eyes remained closed. Slowly pulling back she felt her chest tighten as she tugged the blanket down slightly more to reveal the baby's face.

A bittersweet smile touched her lips.

She could see the child had the sculpture of Kaname's face as well as his nose. What would her eyes be like? Yuuki wondered curiously caressing the baby's head lightly.

A tear the size of a pearl rolled down her rosy cheek.

The baby began to whimper and wiggle in her arms sensing her mother's sorrow.

Yuuki softly lowered her lips to the child and began to hush her gently, cooing soft words to calm the newborn down. Soon enough, the baby's movements stilled, breathing slow and steady as the newborn fell asleep once again in her mother's arms.

Suddenly, Yuuki realised something.

Gazing down at the sleeping child she realised a part of Kaname had returned to her life. The child was half of her as well as Kaname wasn't it?

"Kaname..." Yuuki whispered as if she spoke a prayer, allowing his name to roll of her tongue after so long.

Without any of the midwives or Yuuki noticing a protective, warm breeze lingered in the room.

_"Yuuki..." _the voice smiled proudly.

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Thank you for reading!


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